An example of society’s contradiction

Contradiction in society’s arise due to a number of complex reasons. Since this is just a blog, I would not venture into the details.

I would like however to briefly illustrate one contradiction in the Malay society. Specifically, on the prevalence of the so-called immoral behaviors of the Malay youth. To be more specific on the “improper behavior” of couples who are committing the the unlawful close proximity offence.

As the Malays are Muslims, there is a taboo against un-married couples being in close proximity. Ask a devout Muslim and he will say that such action is prohibited against the religion.

However, there seems to be an opinion among Malays that such behavior is on the rise. It seems that the Malays themslves are lamenting that there are too many incidences of indecent behaviors among unmarried Malay couples.  Perhaps the non-Malays can also get that idea even from English language print-media. Perhaps some may read headlines such as “Couple caught for khalwat” or “XX couples booked for khalwat” etc, etc…

It is quite ironic too read such stories. After all Malaysian Muslims are in general conservative about their religion.

Now, I do not claim to have the answer for such a problem. But I can only hypothesize why such behaviors are prevalent especially among the youths.

The reason I believe, is that it is too costly to get married. Just imagine how much does one has to spent to get married. Recently, one of my Malay friends got married. And guess what… he has to get a personal loan to pay for his wedding with his long time girl-friend.  He has actually saved a sum of money, but that was not enough: so he has to go into debt in order to get married. I ask him, why should he do that. After all the requirements in Islam for a marriage are not complicated nor are they onerous.

He was actually quite dissapointed in me asking this question. He says that I don’t understand Malay culture.  So he explained if he were just to have the simple religious ceremony… what would his parents say?….what would his (future) parents in law say?…what would his relatives and the relatives of his (future) wive will say…

I then gather that he was under pressure to have an expensive wedding ceremony….

Malay weddings are expensive:

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I think that it is ironic to see that while many Malays lament and complain that many of their youths are immoral  i.e. gettting caught for khalwat and such;  they don’t seem to do anything about the high costs of the Malay wedding ceremonies. This, I suppose is one of the contradictions in the Malay society.


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